Manifesto of the Imaginary Conservative Party of Malawi


ice-cold-conservative-graphic-600x345-600x300Again I imagine a party that has an ideology that goes beyond stealing from the public kitty. Today I write a manifesto about the direction of the country according to the Imaginary Conservative Party of Malawi, NOT ACCORDING TO JOHN K BLACK!

conservative-5The conservative party of Malawi is very concerned with the way the country is going down the drain. In the old days, our country was properly run, people had food, a roof that did not leak and shoes. These days most people are poor. Pornography is corrupting our morals, learners are lying and insulting teachers, and even the President is not safe from insinuations and lies. The country needs to get back to its former glory, when the civil service worked hard, the population worked hard, and the people in office worked hard.

  1. Morals: we need to get back to our religious roots, we should get rid of homosexuality, pornography, immorality. We should honour our culture, we should honour our roots. We should honour the Chief, the Head of the Family, the Head of State, and above all God. We cannot allow criminals shooting our police officers and innocent citizens, we cannot allow lies and defeatist talk about our office bearers. The Censorship Board needs tomulanje-chiefs be empowered to save our children from immorality flowing over our borders. Lawlessness must be dealt with convincingly. We need to get back to the Malawian standards of Obedience, Unity, Loyalty and such. Permissiveness has its limits.

The police will strictly enforce the law, criminals are not tolerated. The minority of corrupt officers will be dealt with in the strictest manner the law allows. The majority will again be motivated to serve the national interest and fight crime effectively.

  1. The economy is in shambles because of the hand-out mentality, because of a lack of hard work, and because people are busy criticizing instead of working. Get-rich-quick ideas will not develop the country. admarckWe need to empower the ordinary farmer to grow by supplying inputs and loans, reviving extension services, and by empowering Admarc to serve the interest of the population.

The private sector will be strictly regulated to serve the interest of the country, and not their own greed at the cost of the Malawian population. Government will buy crops at reasonable prices, and supply the buyers according to their needs. Currently we see that every Jim and Lack started growing tobacco, many of substandard quality. This has suppressed prices which is only good for exploiting foreigners. The industry needs to be properly regulated by government, so that the right amount of high quality tobacco fetches good prices.

  1. university-of-livingstonia-graduands-600x401Education: we see a wild forest of private education institutions that are giving out all kinds of titles of questionable worth. We must bring back sanity to the education sector. The government education system is the backbone of a morally educated people. We do not need millions of worthless degrees. The government will strictly enforce education standards, and provide good education in government schools. The schools will be regulated so we produce graduates of the right kind of specialization in the right amounts to develop the country. Because the farmer is being empowered to grow well, the population does not need fancy degrees. The government will provide jobs for all graduates, who will develop the country in state enterprises.
  2. Health care: health care was properly organized pre 1994 and there is no reason that government cannot do the job now. We need to revisit the organization of the sector, and put everyone in the right position to guarantee services to the population. Laziness and incompetence will not be tolerated, the majority who is of good will will be empowered to treat diseases. Drugs pilferage was unheard of in the days before 1994, these days will be brought back.
  3. Civil service: We need to put the civil service back to work. They have been demotivated by a minority of lazy corrupt civil servants. These types must be rooted out. Sanity must prevail in the civil service, so the civil servant works hard for a reasonable salary, and the civil service will be kept free from corruption.kamuzu-banda-1

We need to bring back the glory days of Malawi, and we can.


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